Hey guys, so today's what's suppose to be the anniversary of me and afiqah. It's SUPPOSED to be our third year anniversary but i guess its not. So I'm dedicating this post as a tribute to her, our relationship and what we've been through after that. 3 years ago on this very day i made the decision to ask a girl to be mine. I never knew this decision would change my whole life. So the next day i approached this quiet "punk rock" girl and asked her to be my steady and she agreed. We went fine together, she was very quiet and secretive towards me but, it's the start of a relationship so it's a usual thing. We've been through alot together. We've braved the toughest storms and came out stronger. 2years and 1months of a very healthy relationship and i knew that i don't need anyone else in my life except her. Things didn't turn out that way i guess. I was in the crucial period of my O's. That was the point her love started to turn into an obsession. She got upset when i couldn't meet her. I had my reasons and they were valid but i guess it wasn't enough. So i made up my mind, i had to do something before things go out of hand. So the day before my fucking b'day i asked her for a space out. I know, how cruel could i be, but, what else could i do. I wanna be with this girl till the end of time and if she always got upset when i couldn't meet her, its going to make things very complicated in future. So i asked her for 6months. I know it's a long time but i was just not thinking straight at that time. I promised her I'll be back with her after that and she was so upset. I could sense her heart shattering but i just kept to my words. She apologised so much. She even went all the way to light candles under my block saying I'm sorry. I was so touched but with the influence of my friends, i didn't do anything and today I'm regretting. I'm not putting the blame on them. They're my friends and they want the best for me. So we didn't contact each other for 2 months and i couldn't take things anymore and i asked her back. Life without her was so dull. I just couldn't put myself through it any longer. We were together as a couple but only for afew months i guess. A friend of mine sent me a msg one fine evening and asked if i was still attached to her. I told yeah i am and i asked him why. He forwarded me every single message afiqah sent him. My blood boiled by the time i got through everything. Hot-tempered i was back then i asked afiqah if she liked him. She denied twice but the third time she accepted it. So there it was, the end of our relationship. Didn't sleep the whole night thinking of her. Went down to school to talk to afiqah but actually bumped into the guy she like so i had a chat with him. He showed me all the messages they sent each other. I really got extremely angry. Anger overtook me and a scolded afiqah like nobody's business. Words slipped from my mouth which has scarred her till now. It took me 2 days to cool down. She spoke to me after that and her story sounded different. Well, i believed what she said because i maybe in the wrong for not asking her to explain and she maybe in the wrong for not explaining her actions. So i apologised. I thought she forgave me but her scars never did heal. She didn't patch up with me as she started to like my friend and i couldn't do anything about it. So it was a 2 horse race to get her. I didn't take it as a race. I just behaved how i always was when i was with her. In the end when afiqah, my friend and me wanted to settle things out she messaged me the night before and told me that she'd rather be with him. This was my worst rejection ever. I was so speechless and dumbstruck that immediately i left my house and went straight to but 2 packs of cigarettes and smoked my heart out. For 4 days straight i didn't sleep, i didn't eat for a week. All i did was smoke and drank lots of water to keep me from falling ill. I just left her to do what she wanted. she wanted to still keep in contact with me but, the pain was so unbearable that i didn't want to be near her. A few days passed and my bro and afiqah's new boyfriend went into a scuffle. I was fucking sick at that time and couldn't talk much or do much. So i just watched them talk it out. Afiqah talked to me and asked me to stop all this. She was siding her boyfriend and it was so clear of it. Cause she accidentally messaged me what i told her i was going to do. So i decided what the fuck for am i doing disturbing her life for. I withdrew. Let her live the life she wants. She kept contacting me everyday and asked me to reply. How long could i just ignore the one i love? So i replied and i tried to keep my distance from her. So one day she asked me out for lunch and i was in a shock and i asked if it's actually ok cause she attached with someone i just fought with and I'm her ex. She said she doesn't mind. So we had lunch and had a nice chat that i didn't have with her for a long time. So we kept in contact but just as friends. So we met up again a few days later and we were talking and joking. My laptop was playing in the background. This love song went on and we were quietly listening. I was just gazing at her when i just blurted that i really miss you. She started to shed tears and she hugged me. I really didn't knew the impact of my words till later that night when she added "i now know the difference between true love and infatuation" into her good night message. It was at that time i knew i had one last chance to make things right. From then I've been trying hard till today to get her back because i still don't feel right with someone else. I know how much we love each other but it's up to her to make her move. So this post goes out to you, afiqah. You've always lit my life and when your not here it feels oh so dark. Take a moment to think back of all we've been through and all we've said we could've been. I hope that you could try to come back sooner rather than later cause i really need you badly.
The Name's Azman
I'm a geek.
29:10:1990
Temasek Polytechnic (ENG)
Loves British Fashion
